I am a traveler between Life and Death

Breathe my sorrow’s sigh

Taste my bitterness

Plunge into my eternal darkness

Climb where I have fallen

And stand a side from sunrays

Listen to my whispers

I whisper sweet nothings

Come dance with me slowly

On my silent melodies

And may be we would sleep this night with some kind of peace

Happiness so near and yet so far

Come to me now

Or

Let me die

Come closer

Caress my face, tickle my ears

And lick all my bitter sweet tears

See!

I have no fears

I fear no fate

Don’t be afraid

I have been lost from years

I’m a traveler between life and death

What despair I did not express ?!!

Walk with me these unending roads

See me with your blinding sight

Touch me with your vanished hand

Clear my crowded mind

Creep through my skin to the deep

And may be my broken soul intimate with your tormented needs

But I don’t think the moon would beams

Nor the stars would rise

I can only see with eye serene

The wreckage of my heart

It blows intensely at times

I can only see with eye serene

A dim light from our tired sun

And I hear

Yes, I hear

A sound of a voice that is still

Calling me to go into that cottage there

Where we used to stay

Where we used to lay,

In front of the wooden firelight whose light can not cease

And may be if we go this night,

We would sleep with some kind of peace.

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain —— by Emily Dickinson

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading – treading – till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through -

And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum -
Kept beating – beating – till I thought
My Mind was going numb -

And then I heard them lift a Box
And creak across my Soul
With those same Boots of Lead, again,
Then Space – began to toll,

As all the Heavens were a Bell,
And Being, but an Ear,
And I, and Silence, some strange Race
Wrecked, solitary, here -

And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped down, and down -
And hit a World, at every plunge,
And Finished knowing – then -

Things we Lost in the Fire

-Dad?
-Yeah?

-The water’s green.
-No, it’s fluorescent.

-What’s…

Fluorescent !! …

-Fluorescent means “lit from within.”

-So am I fluorescent?
-Yeah, Dory, you are.

And That was Brian and his son in the first scene at this movie

” Things we lost in the Fire ” .

And I believe that anyone has deep inside his heart a feel called

” Love “ ,  he is a fluorescent

He lit from within.

 

It is my third time I watch this movie and never get bored .

I get into a sensation makes me feel that love is the only thing beckon us forward to walk into the right direction in our life .

But ..

But if you lost it , you lost everything …

You lose control

You feel like you are inside a movie .. A sad movie

You want to escape , you want to know what it feels like to escape

You would think that you will continue losing everything , everyone

 

And here ..

Audrey and her kids have to accept the Loss

Have to start rebuilding their life somehow without the main reason for being alive.

But Lonliness

The Night’s Monster

The unbearable feel would keep chasing you .. chasing you and take away from you your quiet sweet slumber

They say ..

To feel stronger you have to find someone so down and so pathetic to take care of,

And Audrey found out that hating his husband’s childhood friend  Jerry is now seems so silly .

At the same time Jerry have to stop being a heroin addict and try to put his own life back together

So she gave him their garage , a place where they had a fire in it before and they started to rebuild it but never finished , thats what she told him to get him in their life to help him and help herself at the same time 

A scene touched me so much

Was when he helped her to sleep after many sleepless nights she had ,

When he just rubbed her ears gently as her husband was always do

 

But her refusal to her tragic loss leaded her to be at times very hurtful to Jerry saying things like ” It should have been you ” meaning his life isn’t worth and he should have been died instead of her husband .

She even wanted from him to let her in the addiction world in order to escape from her pathetic life,

she went to his place once asking him ” What is heroin like ?

 

But she kept blaming Jerry about everything so after many scenes of fightings , he collapsed and got back to heroin again and it was so painful seeing him like that as it was so painful too seeing her after she helped him again collapsed in her husband study room

she broke down finally after she had entered into the room, she has not able to enter after the accident

She read the list

The list of all the things they lost in the fire

And then she realized that she lost him .. she lost him forever

She kept howling and Saying why ..

 

I have to mention the most memorable words at the movie

After the fire they had and all the things they lost because of it , she went to her husband and she said :

How can you be so calm ?!

He said , those are just things Audrey

Those are just the stuff

That’s just stuff

“We still have each other”

So touchable …

 

At the End

Jerry telling his often dream while he was in some addiction healing circle and the plays out with Gustavo santaolalla gorgeous music , A red roses bouquet with a card “Accept the good ” from Jerry to Audrey and a sense that life will go on .

 

And here is the Jerry’s dream ..

Hi, my name is Jerry and I’m an addict.

-Hi, Jerry.
-Hello, Jerry.

I’ve been clean for 89 days.

My mind is clearer,

and I think it’s getting better.

Every day, a little bit.

But I wanna talk about this dream
I keep having.

It always starts
with me stealing silverware.

Then I go sell it to this guy

who I used to know
who owned a catering service.

Then with the money, I go to this place
where I used to buy my drug of choice,

and he’s not around.

So I go to other spots, right,

but for some reason, no one is around.

All of Seattle is dry,

and then I get that feeling, the dread,

and I panic.

And I start running,

and it’s raining, and it gets dark.

And then I’m in my old apartment,
and I’m thrashing right through it,

looking for something
I might have stashed away.

And I think I’m having a seizure.

And then I find a balloon
hidden in my suitcase.

So there I am

with a bag of junk in one hand

and the money for my next fix
in the other,

and I feel at total, utter peace.

And I wake up.

One day at a time.
One day at a time.
One day at a time.
One day at a time.

Thank you.

 

 

My heart is gone beyond the Sea

 

I’m here for you  Sea

I walked my familiar path to come to you

I came alone

Escaping from the wild life there and longing to feel your tranquility

Are you longing to feel me sea ? To feel my loneliness as I feel your Mystery ?

I’m here to sit quietly in the softness of the night with you for a while in this place where dreams come to life

Please come here to caress me

I’ll rest in front of you and feel your soft sand beneath my feet

Waiting you to send me your tender waves to touch me

Or smash me

I don’t care I will not leave you

I’m here I’m near

I hear the whispers you sent me , whispers of things said and left unsaid

Sweet love whispers fall on my ears gently

I’m so captivated by you sea

I walked roads I should not walk

Crossed lines , I crossed the machine of time

I left my life , my strife , I left everything behind

I just came with a good grace , I just need to be here

Close to you sea and hugs your waves passionately

Letting the soft breezes fall on my lips gently and my cheeks

Stealing kisses from me then sending back to you

I’m sending you my warm feelings to keep you company in the absence of the sun

I know you stay for long every night waiting company

Waiting for someone relieve his secrets and threw his books sheet by sheet to you

I know you are good at reading the people’s Books

You are Great … Deep … Charming … Keeper

My Memories with you are going to be deeper

Sea…

Calling me out

Don’t you yearn to take me

And write an end to my Misery?

Pull me into your deep Embrace

I can close my eyes and walk towards you

Ignoring your splashing drops, fighting your anger waves and loses the earth beneath my feet

I know you want me Sea.. I hear your moans

But could you bear watching me drown

You are pulling me into you , and i see my self driftting to a place beyond all words , Then sending me your waves carries me to where i’m belong

And here i found a sailboat waiting for me

Ooh Sea ..

Lend me your strength

Or picture me a final scene to our story

I’m hearing your voice, the one that carries me back and beckon me forward at the same time

Ooh Sea ..

I lost my Sanity

Tell me and I will go after

When do reality End and dreams Begin Or are they intertwined , one part of the other ?

Well ..

Your answer to me is still silence

I know miracles never last

I will go

But when the sun goes to the other side and you are alone

I will come to sit with you till the twilight of the hours .