The bitter sweet Memories

August 14, 2008

From the thousands thoughts and memories whose wandering in my mind each and everyday which I keep them shutting up to try to calm myself down and avoid the craziness I find you in every inch; every corner in my mind weave memories which it brings rapture that fills my spirit sometimes and brings a bunch of sleepless lonely nights in another.

I find your alluring smile against my Will and even your serious face,
Your eyes while they were staring at mine and pull me into your embrace as it pull me into heaven into a magnificent place
I find your voice when you were at night whisper to me “sweetie” and left me unable to sleep but thoughts of you kept me company , kept you always with me

I find your hands when they took mine between them, when each hand were trying to feel the other above it in aching need to feel the softness and to feel the tenderness
To feel the power and to feel this strange sweet heat
To sooth the pain to fight the sorrow and challenge the heartache that’s in a bad need

How could I delete this from my mind or even keep it quiet Not fight and shout in me to remember, Just to approve that there is not a moment goes by when you are not in my thoughts, you are not in my mind

Of course you know those memories are not much But believe me the place from the lowest depths to skies above is not enough for them… It is not enough Believe me
I imagined what is more than we have lived to make the bond between us become so powerful and so strong

Believe me there are thousands of times I waited you to call me to just leave a word, a thought or a moment of truth to live it with you and leave a terrific feel lives in my heart, Lives in my deepest all to write something poetic about it or remember it when you are away

Believe me I did more than I can stand to keep myself away from others to make you the one and the only in my life

Believe me I try so hard to convince myself that you’re here .. that you’re near and take away from me all my strife

Believe me I always run after my feelings which is all for you at times you making me feel that when I thought that I’m so close , you were walking so far away

But seriously I want to say I’m a woman with no regrets

I lived what I had lived with one quite simple rule whose echoed in my thoughts always and forever Which is

” The one can not regret at love when it is true “

Can not regret at thing comes once in a life
And can not regret at the only thing makes you sure when everything seemed to be unsure

So Believe me and Forgive me

Believe me I forgot the sore thoughts and mingled it with the fake joy and the delusional Glee Cause I thought your love could be visible one day, seen and toutched , be Faithfully

And Forgive me If once I lift my eyes to see who is not belong to me .

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The Last Resort

August 5, 2008

I see somebody taking comfort In other’s sorrow

I see the flame inside her heart and I see the ashes are scattering inside him .. inside his gray burnt heart

Loving her.. Is that so hard ?

Does he want to grow old so young

 Always seek lonliness at times she is walking by his side

He lives In the Isolation Land letting the time passing him by and she sold her love in the desolate market where none come to buy

Loving her.. Is that so hard ?

He lighted the candle and watched it burning at Both Ends

He stared at the flames while they were consuming the wax

She is burning like he burnt before

She is drinking the poison from the same glass he drunk long time ago

Saving her .. Is that so hard?

I see her looks like a spirit more than a human wandering alone at the forest,

In the darkness of the night between the giant old tress

Calling a Name .. Rambling words Non sense .. Chasing someone Unseen

I see her stopping from once In a while gazing with staring eyes at something blur

I see a wide smile shown on her circle face , spectacular glee , a certain grace

She Is trying to reach her fingers out through something among the quiet space

But the silence was the only companion of her solitude

The smile washed from her face .. she started to walk again following the trace

Till she stopped at the graveyards

She acts like she Is home surrounded by the purple Blooms

And she lies there like she lies behind her own Fort

Graveyards !!

Graveyard !  Is that her Last Resort ?

So clear now to me than before

I see him turnning from what has been so dim in her eyes to another spirit his pain can not endure

He is searching ..

He is walking the same paths .. the same traces

He wants the same Core

He is looking for his Lost Love

Her forbidden love Is what she was looking for

But to where he is going ?

and where did she go ?

Shattered dreams .. Gray colors .. Dark roads

 An empty circle .. I know

Perhaps he will follow the right traces at the right time one day

But could It be before it is too Late

Or It is too Late already and he should wander No more .