shsh

Good bye July… August, Please be nice

Saturday,25 July, 2009

It’s been a long month, really…

A long cheerless dolorous melancholic month,

Started of 9 Jul the first anniversary of my father’s passing and ended hopefully today.

Yes it is July, I remember that my father was always telling me that he doesn’t like those two months {July & August) in the year and he always Waited them with anticipation to end.

Telling me; Sawsan those two months are like hell, the town became so crowd and lousy because of people who works in the rich Arab countries, they comes in particular in this two months with their huge GMC cars and Choking us,
When this people gonna leave us alone…

Hmm dad, you are the one who left, left us in this dreary world alone and bare, I hope you found now the better convenient place for you, hope you found heaven and rest forever in peace.

Well, my house has been in a mess in the past few days.
Every one has a problem and something fateful gonna change his life forever,

Starting with my eldest brother who for some stupid reasons will be prevented from entering the last exam in his Egyptian Board after five heavily years of studying and working in surgical operations as he is a doctor, and he is now negotiating with the person in charge, hmm… Actually Begging!!

And my youngest brother who graduated finally from his high school and here it came the time which he should decide which college he wants to join it.

Me…

I’m living inside my head and that’s my problem, I know my self well and I’m living with this without making any move to change my way of thinking but something should happen to me from time to time to remind me that I should think out side the box, I should think and expect the good behavior and the bad one from people               

I trust people; I genuinely trust people, I trust their words and their promises and not just that, I go farther in thinking that leads me to say “I believe in”

Believe in their promises; believe in them while I should believe only in myself cause every time I get hurt

(I will add a word “BADLY” because I’m so sensitive I get hurt easily and badly)

May be I should slow down in drawing castles and making a fake Empire of trust because obviously; not all people like Lord Melbourne, as he was a good friend and a great advisor to queen Victoria.

Hmm, Finally My poor Mom who suffering badly from high pressure, hot atmosphere and the absence of her Mixer!!

And recently just yesterday night she received unexpected call from her fellows telling her that her mother {My Grandma} passed away…

What a chock !

That was “The straw that broke the camel’s back”

Everyone went in a deep silence,

Our brains shut down, our bodies lied idle
and the clock had ceased their chiming and every breath seemed to be wasted…

Death again

Again death !!

At this time I felt Emily Dickinson’s words seemed to be switched on my brain again;

Because I could not stop for death,
He kindly stopped for me,
The carriage held but just ourselves
And immortality.
We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

This poem shows that death is not to be feared since it is a natural part of the endless cycle of nature,

And the poet “Emily” was optimistic about her ultimate fate and appeared to see death as a friend…

That was the overall theme of this poem Such as the analysts said and that’s exactly what I feel now…

I realized that death should be acceptable in our lives because the intertwinement of life and death.

And we are meant to lose the people we love.

And about the problems and the successive events we face everyday in our lives; I think we have to be satisfied with everything happens to us because everything happens it happens for a reason and as they say ..

“Every cloud has a silver lining”.

 

 

The Twilight

July 23, 2009

3354691891_a393e9ede0

The Twilight

When the lights and flickers gone to sleep and everything is shshsh… except the wave crashes,
That’s the twilight…

When the pictures showing nothing but silhouettes
And the sky became so pale and moon is preparing to bright
I know it is the twilight…

When I gaze and gaze on the sky
Waiting for the crowd stars
To make a wish; for my beloved is so, so far

And the wild night is coming soon
Want not to be alone
So, I have to hast and make a wish
At this sweet twilight

While the sea is my witness;
I lied under the palm, I closed my eyes
I told, revealed and poured it all

Then I felt a dancing breeze hitting my nose
As if it was a hint, a magic hint
From a star yet not showing

I silently laughed and waited for the fulfillment.

A Happy Old Man

July 23, 2009

 1173235361_9ff17953dc 

Once upon a time, there was an old man, a decent generous old man,

He devoted all his life for whom around and he was so utterly content…

His mission was to please everyone, spread the joy and love,

To surround them with green fields and the blue sky above…

Never complained, for that’s the way he feel fully satisfied and lively,

Sea was his only companion in his solitude…

Whenever he wants to embrace his childhood memories and the old days,

He comes to the sea, sit down and look at the far horizon with his sheen eyes,

And recalling everything, every moment…

Saying to himself, thank God I did the right choices in my life.

Dedicated to him

July 7, 2009

I don’t need Wine to be drunk

For I’m already sailed and sunk

Beneath the blueness of your Lustrous Eyes

But the waves carried me to the shore

Then your eyes poured me;

Softly and silently

As if I was a gentle rain drop

Then I started an amusing tour

To pick the white petals on your cheek

But swiftly I got stuck

In the hollow of your seducing dimple

And at this time I decided to take a rest

For I know your are smiling

And when you smile my love

The dancing universe reveals

The happiness it feels and it never stops.