Good bye July… August, Please be nice

July 30, 2009

shsh

Good bye July… August, Please be nice

Saturday,25 July, 2009

It’s been a long month, really…

A long cheerless dolorous melancholic month,

Started of 9 Jul the first anniversary of my father’s passing and ended hopefully today.

Yes it is July, I remember that my father was always telling me that he doesn’t like those two months {July & August) in the year and he always Waited them with anticipation to end.

Telling me; Sawsan those two months are like hell, the town became so crowd and lousy because of people who works in the rich Arab countries, they comes in particular in this two months with their huge GMC cars and Choking us,
When this people gonna leave us alone…

Hmm dad, you are the one who left, left us in this dreary world alone and bare, I hope you found now the better convenient place for you, hope you found heaven and rest forever in peace.

Well, my house has been in a mess in the past few days.
Every one has a problem and something fateful gonna change his life forever,

Starting with my eldest brother who for some stupid reasons will be prevented from entering the last exam in his Egyptian Board after five heavily years of studying and working in surgical operations as he is a doctor, and he is now negotiating with the person in charge, hmm… Actually Begging!!

And my youngest brother who graduated finally from his high school and here it came the time which he should decide which college he wants to join it.

Me…

I’m living inside my head and that’s my problem, I know my self well and I’m living with this without making any move to change my way of thinking but something should happen to me from time to time to remind me that I should think out side the box, I should think and expect the good behavior and the bad one from people               

I trust people; I genuinely trust people, I trust their words and their promises and not just that, I go farther in thinking that leads me to say “I believe in”

Believe in their promises; believe in them while I should believe only in myself cause every time I get hurt

(I will add a word “BADLY” because I’m so sensitive I get hurt easily and badly)

May be I should slow down in drawing castles and making a fake Empire of trust because obviously; not all people like Lord Melbourne, as he was a good friend and a great advisor to queen Victoria.

Hmm, Finally My poor Mom who suffering badly from high pressure, hot atmosphere and the absence of her Mixer!!

And recently just yesterday night she received unexpected call from her fellows telling her that her mother {My Grandma} passed away…

What a chock !

That was “The straw that broke the camel’s back”

Everyone went in a deep silence,

Our brains shut down, our bodies lied idle
and the clock had ceased their chiming and every breath seemed to be wasted…

Death again

Again death !!

At this time I felt Emily Dickinson’s words seemed to be switched on my brain again;

Because I could not stop for death,
He kindly stopped for me,
The carriage held but just ourselves
And immortality.
We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

This poem shows that death is not to be feared since it is a natural part of the endless cycle of nature,

And the poet “Emily” was optimistic about her ultimate fate and appeared to see death as a friend…

That was the overall theme of this poem Such as the analysts said and that’s exactly what I feel now…

I realized that death should be acceptable in our lives because the intertwinement of life and death.

And we are meant to lose the people we love.

And about the problems and the successive events we face everyday in our lives; I think we have to be satisfied with everything happens to us because everything happens it happens for a reason and as they say ..

“Every cloud has a silver lining”.

 

 

Advertisements

13 Responses to “Good bye July… August, Please be nice”

  1. Cinderella Says:

    i know the meaning of hating special months..
    am sorry for your loss Sawsan..hopefully August will pass as peaceful as January has passed for you (hopefully).. wish you serenity..


  2. Cinderella – Thank you ..
    I hope that all our wishs cometrue and all of us have the serenity we seek for .

  3. enhencer Says:

    I can’t say anything but to remain god .
    don’t receive blame to jule or aug , u tried to defy and pass through sadness pain ,until u wouldn’t flowers residue .
    sawsan to ease herself .


  4. Enhencer – Thank you for consoling me and for the advice,
    It was just a tough time and I’m trying so hard to be more stronger.

  5. hisham agiza Says:

    I hope all ur months even july and august be nice. to live ur day these days is really a challenging issue.But, its all about choices, u either choose to see the silver lining or just stop to drop with ur grieve. i really feel sorry for ur father, but i think he was really a great man specially after i red ur poem about his funeral. but i think he is a lucky man to have a girl like u. he is not dead because of u who keeps his good memory even with people who actually wasnt ment for them to know him without u. keep sending him ur prayers. l wish for u and ur family all the success and happiness n the world.


  6. Hisham – Thank you for ur supporting , You really made my day ..

  7. sleimanazizi Says:

    I think that the only responsibilty we truly have is to see what isn’t our responsibility.

    Perhaps we take on too much and in the process forget what we have left behind.

    The cloud IS the silver lining.

  8. Mossy Says:

    I hope that August went ok. Some say that the heavy meteor showers in August have a disturbing impact on us. I think it is so.

    I enjoyed your writing. Hope you will write more.


  9. – Mr. sleiman azizi,

    You are the Master of wisdom, I do really like when you share your experiences with me ..

    Many Thanks.


  10. Mossy – August has been nice enough to not letting me even wrote a word !!
    Thanks for your reading, I’m glad you like it.
    And now I’m waiting for some inspiration ..

  11. sleimanazizi Says:

    🙂

  12. monkseyes Says:

    To not fear death…could that be true. Isn’t the fear of death only a shift in the fear of the unknown, fear of leaving others, fear of hurting others?
    We all have a blind date with the Reaper. The big question; am I going to run when he comes knocking…or am I going to ask “where to next?”


  13. Monksyes – yes we all have that blind date, We know nothing about how would be like !!
    But If you are talking about the moment your soul come out, it would be as hard as all your bad things you did in your life ..
    About what will you do, I don’t know .. that depends on you !
    About where to next .. I can assure you that there would be the Paradise and the Hell ..
    And I wish all of us to stay in the pradise forever.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s