The Distress Call

September 12, 2009

flying

Mayday Mayday Mayday, This is me me me Mayday me, position 000 North 000 East “Middle of No Where”. My Boat is sinking. I require immediate assistance, only me on board. OVER.

Shortly before this…

No

Please No

Don’t leave me

I love you,

I never felt this way to anyone before; I’m totally immersed in love with you

You are the only connection to me to reality; I and my life will shut if you’re gone

Ah!

My breath will go in vain; My heart will be ceased its chiming

What would I do in the absence of my whole existence, in the absence of you?!
With what I will continue living? For what? And why and where??
Without you my one and only, without you my reason for being.

Do not replace the “O” with the “E” and “A”,
Say I’m loving you then slam my ears to not hear you saying I’m leaving you.

For God sake! My life will sink into meaningless and meaningless will pull me down and down into the ocean floor then I will be embraced only by Nothingness.

Hey, Do not linger if you will leave
Stab me with the butcher’s knife and give me the infinite relief
Because being embraced by Nothingness is better than breathing without you here.

I am sorry, Farewell, he said…

And into the ocean he jumped, fighting the waves, the long distance to the shore or to another boat perhaps it could behold him or he could find his salvation on.

And then there is Me!
My heart is burning, my joyful memories in ashes lie,
My boat is sinking and I;
Want nothing but my last resort!

But things are made by the law divine…

And while I was saying Adieu to the world,
I saw a floating light coming towards me, it was iridescent!

It was the most beautiful light my eyes have ever seen…
It hugged my sight and conjured the hope inside me.

Then in a blink, it vanished!

Then I said No

Please No

Don’t leave me

I love me, I never wanted “Me” “My life”  like this way before

I’m totally wants to live again.

My life is the only connection to me to love; I and my heart will blossom again.

Mayday Mayday Mayday, This is me me me Mayday me, position 000 North 000 East “Middle of No Where”. My Boat is sinking. I require immediate assistance, only me on board. OVER.

Mayday Mayday Mayday, I want my life back, OVER.

I don’t want to die, OVER

I don’t want to die, OVER

 
Please, Find Me, OVER.

 

This scene is simply reflects the dangerous situation I was living,
Reflects 24 years in my life!
I lost 24 years in my life pursuing something intangible, digging in the illusionary thinking in a try to get or predict a conclusion in order to determine which road I will take, which road can make my life much easier and happier,
I was living these years in a constant wondering about;

When I’m going to be hit —– by the enchanter’s stick

But instead of this, I have been bashed, smashed into the great wall of Solitude and Nervousness.

But thankfully, I realized that I will not spend the rest of my life searching for the love of my life,

I will survive myself from the illusion of searching because I’m not a rat and life Ain’t a maze, and of course love is the strangest thing it could ever happened to someone.

So from now on

If I had a dream it would be for my success in life

If I wanted a hug, I will hug myself tight

If I needed to talk, I would ink my words and write them down

And If I felt the weakness one day again, I will sail across the sea and move the oars so strongly because that’s the place where I begun while my weakness was trying to end me,

And instead of falling asleep forever, I fell awake.

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8 Responses to “The Distress Call”

  1. Mossy Says:

    Beautiful.

    I am sorry that you you had to hurt so much.

    Interesting that it happened on 9/11. (disaster day for Americans)

    I have verified that love exists in us independent of a subject to love. Still I am not sure that we have enough being to accept that love, alone, directly, without form. I will say though that the brief flash that you had can be grown into something longer lasting and more reliable. In no case is it easy, and that is more a blessing than a curse.


  2. Mossy – yes it was a blessing, that brief flash referes to My Savior and I believe that it changed everything, it was a turning point for me,
    A big turning point ..

  3. monkseyes Says:

    How many songs have been sung about love. It hurts, it is blind, it brings joy and so much more. But love will always be abstract. We can try to explain it…but words tend to always fall short of love’s affect on one self. A beautifully written peace once again.


  4. monkseyes – Love !!
    love is something exotic, undefined, has so many forms and I believe that No words could describe it !!
    Thanks for your comments “sweet monkseyes” .

  5. sleimanazizi Says:

    “And instead of falling asleep forever, I fell awake.”

    Oh, this is nice.

    You have to be alive to be awake; and when you are awake, there is no choice but to be alive.

    Smile madamoiselle, who knows what is next!

    🙂


  6. Mr. Seliman, I liked the sound of Madamoiselle, It is very unique and elegant, Thanks with a smile from ear to ear 🙂


  7. And instead of falling asleep forever, I fell awake.
    *sob*
    I’m really actually choked up. Beautiful piece.
    –Pearl


  8. – Hey Beautiful precious Pearl, Thanks :–)

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