All about .. You

December 24, 2009

أحب عينيك اللتين تلونا بلون حبة اللوز، أحبهما وأحب طلتهما على وجهي وأعشق نعم أعشق طرفة جفناك عندما تطرفا طرفتهما البطيئة

ويسحرني ثغرك عندما يمتلك إحساسي ويذوب ويصبح جزء مني و من وجداني

وتأخذني أناملك إلى آخر الكون ويذهب عقلي و يتوه وينسى عقارب ساعة الزمان
وكأن هذه الأنامل تحمل أفيون، تحمل أخطر أفيون يخدر كل تفكيري ويحملني إلى السماء، أرقص و ألهو مع النجوم

ويعذبني صوتك في الليل عندما تهمس وكأنك تهمس لتقتلني بنوبة قلبية

ويأرقني ويزيد من أرقي عندما يهمك أمرا غيري أو يشتت عقلك شيئا آخرا غير مداعبتي

ويضحكني عدم مبالاتك عندما نقوم سويا بخوض موقفا خطيرا

ويجملني و يكملني وجودك بجانبي ويثيرغيرة الآخرين عندما دوما تعانقني

وتذهب بشتات عقلي عندما تغضب، تعند، تمل، تكل، تنقد، تتنهد ألما، تصرخ تفصح شيئا من الماضي

ويثيرني ويجذبني عطرك فإن هذه الزجاجة حتما تعرف جيدا كيف تمتزج مع عنقك صدرك يدك ملابسك لتيقظ في شغفي ورغبتي في إفتعال المواقف لأجد فرصة أستطيع فيها ملامستك

ويفزعني عندما تعقد حاجبيك وتباعد بين فكيك ويعلو و يهبط لسانك متمتما كلمات لا أفهمها

ويسكرني ويرنحني ملامستك لشعري الذي يمتد إلى أسفل ظهري
وعندما تباعد بين خصلاته لتلمس عنقي أو تمتد أكثر لتلامس أذني أكون أنا تجرعت من الخمر ما يجعلني لا أشعر بأي مفصل من مفاصل عظامي

ويعتصر قلبي حزنا و ألما عندما تمسك بين أصابعك لفافة التبغ و تشعلها و كأنك تشعل في قلبي أنا النيران بدلا منها وأختنق و لا أستطيع التنفس كلما أدرك أن مع كل شهيق لدخانها تقترب أنت يوما من نهايتك

فما حالي عندما تبعدك عني هذه اللفافة! فلتقترب نهايتي أنا قبل أن يأتي يوما لا أشعر بذراعيك يطوقوا جسدي

أحبك أحبك أحبك ولا أحتمل أي نوع من أنواع الفراق فقد فارقتني السعادة منذ أمد بعيد وفارقني أعز صديق وفارقني القريب فلن أسمح أبدا للدنيا أن تفرق بيني و بين حبيب يسعدني ويصاحبني ويربت على كتفي ويكون لي أقرب قريب

أحبك سأظل أرددها مع كل دقة من قلبي، مع كل شهيقا و زفيرا وكل طرفة من عيني وحتى في أحلامي

أحبك و سأظل أكتب و أروي القصص عنا

أحبك و أشكر عيناك التي تتبعتني فسأحبها دوما فقد قدمت لها كل قرابيني

Letter without A Reply

October 6, 2009

roses

Dear …..,

I do not know where to start or what are the proper words I should say for I can write them down without mistakes ..

I just wanted to tell you that I’m so obsessed with fairytales, I enjoy the moments that deport me from Reality and head me back to the Romanticism;

The moments that open the gate for the flowing River with its rare flowers on each side that flows from my mind to embrace my soul with their Ecstasy, with their soft incense ..

I could be haunted with things people say they’re old fashion or they became some kind of antique,

I could taste the beauteousness in the simple figures, that leads me to gasp the air that full my lungs to the fullest then breathe it out in sobs and sighs wondering how could I translate what I saw in letters then sentences or into some poetic lines,

So I scratch my brain and stay for long in solitude and silence suffering from a burning mind and tied tongue as I’m not educated the much that let me inform the paper of the words that I should write; For all I have is a feeling winnowing by the winds of the melancholic Reality,

My eyes plays a distinct role in this Drama, the eyes that you praise them as much as you praise a passionate kiss from a virgin lass, They constantly need to hug the landscapes with their sight, to see the fields with green, to see the hills and the slopes surrounded with flowers pink and red and white ..

But they constantly need to be kissed to sleep as well; for none of what I told you they ever seen,

It is only anguish that aches their lids and imprison each one away from the other,

I may refer this to my name, as I always observe that the most beautiful colour of Iris is the bluish-purple, The colour of Saddening !

Forgive my blueness, I envy your optimistic way of thinking, your practical mind but I do not know why for a moment I thought you will be the immortal messenger of  the letters that I have always waited for ..

My inspiration and My feelings both were anxious for hearing from you,

Your messages were intensely desirable, were the spark that lighted my mind to imagine a fairytale would last forever,

Your Eyes and their undefined colour were and still a mystery I crave to unfold and it took me long time to discover; Could your smile relate to those eyes?! Could this smile with its pure serene relate to those mystic caves?!

But the answer is still some dots and some exclamation marks …. !!!!
Though In my fantasy I know you well, In Reality you’re still unknown.

Yours,
Sp!r!t.

I wished to get A Reply, I wished to get A single Response to
my feelings, my yearning, my Letters ..
A single sign to keep on dreaming of Fairytales,
To keep on seeing myself with my beloved as A story among the Books of Tales,
Wished to stand more than this;
And Face off the consequences of being Alone ..
But I gave up!

My Love, My Soulmate, My Fantasy
Adieu!

 

Insanity

September 28, 2009

2424242

Monday, 28 Sep, 2009

4:15 am

I feel so much alone

I want to cry

I feel naked; feel as if monsters kidnapped mostly of my organs,

I barely breathe, barely feel warmness!

I ‘m telling so after I had switched off the light of my room, went to bed at 4:15 am then went back again to switch it on after I had felt that everything around me even time is going to suffocate me slowly!

Enough to shut the lights to see ghosts attacks me,

All wants a piece of my brain, And believe What! I’m an easy catch ..

I felt a funeral in my brain,
        And mourners, to and fro,
Kept treading, treading, till it seemed
        That sense was breaking through.

What “Emily Dickinson” said in this poem, I had it all yesterday, that’s exactly what I felt.

And a strange dialog started to form itself as if I were with a shrink!

Started of me saying …

I’m not happy!

 Shrink- What makes us happy?

Me- Satisfying, But I’m satisfied of what I have, So why then I’m not happy! Why my brain can’t stop thinking? When will it shut?

Shrink- Why do you want it to be shut?

Me- For I can sleep, It’s our nature, we sleep to have rest.

Shrink- Yes, correct but we ..

Not you,

You only want the time to pass to start a new dawn, new day, and new sunshine to continue digging in new faces, and following some new traces, for you think you may find the person you’re looking for. To stop the curse of being alone at night.

You’re scratching every portion in your brain, squeezing it to find a comfortable chamber to stay in for trying to find a moment of quiet and sound but you couldn’t…

You hate nights.

Me- Well… I do hate Nights, yes, And A lot of people do so

Shrink- Yes, True.

We all sometimes hate nights

We;

BOTH

Single and Married

 

{Moment of Silent}

 

Shrink- What do you want?

To get married?

Me- Yes

Shrink- Why?

Me- Stability.

Shrink- Stability, hmm…

Marry to someone, kiss on the cheek in the morning, making love at night, having children later, that’s stability!

Me- Yes, that’s stability

Shrink- So what !

You think after Marriage, you will not spend nights drowning in your lonesome!

Me- I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

Shrink- Again you want to pass the time to keep dreaming of a moment you may find it as an adventure to you,

A box you will open and happiness you will find!

Me- Yes, hell yes, what’s wrong with having hope for a better life?

Hope is healthy, makes us continue living and pass the hard times!! What’s wrong with that?

Shrink- See!! You’re now predicting something; this something is delightful and shiny,

You bid your brain to cook an illusion and you name your new plate A hope

And perhaps the taste is good, perhaps it’s not.

You don’t give a damn, you eat, chews, and swallow and you grew old day by day, every time you want a new plate, wants more and more to nourish your self with selfishness,

Stop using the same Equation,

Stop calculating every thing happens in your life!

And don’t you dare to equate the billions thoughts that branched out intensely from your insane head with the wisdom about looking for your treasure,

Because the more you look for it, the more you get lost,

And you would be slowly driven to insanity and twisted mind

And if I came as a wiser once,

I will come as a manipulator later.

The Distress Call

September 12, 2009

flying

Mayday Mayday Mayday, This is me me me Mayday me, position 000 North 000 East “Middle of No Where”. My Boat is sinking. I require immediate assistance, only me on board. OVER.

Shortly before this…

No

Please No

Don’t leave me

I love you,

I never felt this way to anyone before; I’m totally immersed in love with you

You are the only connection to me to reality; I and my life will shut if you’re gone

Ah!

My breath will go in vain; My heart will be ceased its chiming

What would I do in the absence of my whole existence, in the absence of you?!
With what I will continue living? For what? And why and where??
Without you my one and only, without you my reason for being.

Do not replace the “O” with the “E” and “A”,
Say I’m loving you then slam my ears to not hear you saying I’m leaving you.

For God sake! My life will sink into meaningless and meaningless will pull me down and down into the ocean floor then I will be embraced only by Nothingness.

Hey, Do not linger if you will leave
Stab me with the butcher’s knife and give me the infinite relief
Because being embraced by Nothingness is better than breathing without you here.

I am sorry, Farewell, he said…

And into the ocean he jumped, fighting the waves, the long distance to the shore or to another boat perhaps it could behold him or he could find his salvation on.

And then there is Me!
My heart is burning, my joyful memories in ashes lie,
My boat is sinking and I;
Want nothing but my last resort!

But things are made by the law divine…

And while I was saying Adieu to the world,
I saw a floating light coming towards me, it was iridescent!

It was the most beautiful light my eyes have ever seen…
It hugged my sight and conjured the hope inside me.

Then in a blink, it vanished!

Then I said No

Please No

Don’t leave me

I love me, I never wanted “Me” “My life”  like this way before

I’m totally wants to live again.

My life is the only connection to me to love; I and my heart will blossom again.

Mayday Mayday Mayday, This is me me me Mayday me, position 000 North 000 East “Middle of No Where”. My Boat is sinking. I require immediate assistance, only me on board. OVER.

Mayday Mayday Mayday, I want my life back, OVER.

I don’t want to die, OVER

I don’t want to die, OVER

 
Please, Find Me, OVER.

 

This scene is simply reflects the dangerous situation I was living,
Reflects 24 years in my life!
I lost 24 years in my life pursuing something intangible, digging in the illusionary thinking in a try to get or predict a conclusion in order to determine which road I will take, which road can make my life much easier and happier,
I was living these years in a constant wondering about;

When I’m going to be hit —– by the enchanter’s stick

But instead of this, I have been bashed, smashed into the great wall of Solitude and Nervousness.

But thankfully, I realized that I will not spend the rest of my life searching for the love of my life,

I will survive myself from the illusion of searching because I’m not a rat and life Ain’t a maze, and of course love is the strangest thing it could ever happened to someone.

So from now on

If I had a dream it would be for my success in life

If I wanted a hug, I will hug myself tight

If I needed to talk, I would ink my words and write them down

And If I felt the weakness one day again, I will sail across the sea and move the oars so strongly because that’s the place where I begun while my weakness was trying to end me,

And instead of falling asleep forever, I fell awake.

shsh

Good bye July… August, Please be nice

Saturday,25 July, 2009

It’s been a long month, really…

A long cheerless dolorous melancholic month,

Started of 9 Jul the first anniversary of my father’s passing and ended hopefully today.

Yes it is July, I remember that my father was always telling me that he doesn’t like those two months {July & August) in the year and he always Waited them with anticipation to end.

Telling me; Sawsan those two months are like hell, the town became so crowd and lousy because of people who works in the rich Arab countries, they comes in particular in this two months with their huge GMC cars and Choking us,
When this people gonna leave us alone…

Hmm dad, you are the one who left, left us in this dreary world alone and bare, I hope you found now the better convenient place for you, hope you found heaven and rest forever in peace.

Well, my house has been in a mess in the past few days.
Every one has a problem and something fateful gonna change his life forever,

Starting with my eldest brother who for some stupid reasons will be prevented from entering the last exam in his Egyptian Board after five heavily years of studying and working in surgical operations as he is a doctor, and he is now negotiating with the person in charge, hmm… Actually Begging!!

And my youngest brother who graduated finally from his high school and here it came the time which he should decide which college he wants to join it.

Me…

I’m living inside my head and that’s my problem, I know my self well and I’m living with this without making any move to change my way of thinking but something should happen to me from time to time to remind me that I should think out side the box, I should think and expect the good behavior and the bad one from people               

I trust people; I genuinely trust people, I trust their words and their promises and not just that, I go farther in thinking that leads me to say “I believe in”

Believe in their promises; believe in them while I should believe only in myself cause every time I get hurt

(I will add a word “BADLY” because I’m so sensitive I get hurt easily and badly)

May be I should slow down in drawing castles and making a fake Empire of trust because obviously; not all people like Lord Melbourne, as he was a good friend and a great advisor to queen Victoria.

Hmm, Finally My poor Mom who suffering badly from high pressure, hot atmosphere and the absence of her Mixer!!

And recently just yesterday night she received unexpected call from her fellows telling her that her mother {My Grandma} passed away…

What a chock !

That was “The straw that broke the camel’s back”

Everyone went in a deep silence,

Our brains shut down, our bodies lied idle
and the clock had ceased their chiming and every breath seemed to be wasted…

Death again

Again death !!

At this time I felt Emily Dickinson’s words seemed to be switched on my brain again;

Because I could not stop for death,
He kindly stopped for me,
The carriage held but just ourselves
And immortality.
We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

This poem shows that death is not to be feared since it is a natural part of the endless cycle of nature,

And the poet “Emily” was optimistic about her ultimate fate and appeared to see death as a friend…

That was the overall theme of this poem Such as the analysts said and that’s exactly what I feel now…

I realized that death should be acceptable in our lives because the intertwinement of life and death.

And we are meant to lose the people we love.

And about the problems and the successive events we face everyday in our lives; I think we have to be satisfied with everything happens to us because everything happens it happens for a reason and as they say ..

“Every cloud has a silver lining”.

 

 

The Twilight

July 23, 2009

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The Twilight

When the lights and flickers gone to sleep and everything is shshsh… except the wave crashes,
That’s the twilight…

When the pictures showing nothing but silhouettes
And the sky became so pale and moon is preparing to bright
I know it is the twilight…

When I gaze and gaze on the sky
Waiting for the crowd stars
To make a wish; for my beloved is so, so far

And the wild night is coming soon
Want not to be alone
So, I have to hast and make a wish
At this sweet twilight

While the sea is my witness;
I lied under the palm, I closed my eyes
I told, revealed and poured it all

Then I felt a dancing breeze hitting my nose
As if it was a hint, a magic hint
From a star yet not showing

I silently laughed and waited for the fulfillment.

My Life came to A Halt

June 27, 2009

halt

Hello,

It’s been a while since I last wrote

I was distracted by stupidity, an immense amount of stupidity but I’m fine now, I struggled as much as I could,

I think I’m back to my quiet lonely life now
I’m back to my usual routine – {Back to Monotony}

Thank God that Everything run its course ..

Just Now I can write with a clear mind, About the past few days ..

I was fighting to survive among A chain of Galaxies that kept spinning around me, Narrowing the circle till I was this close from Madness and Losing Control !!

But by the End; I scored A high level on Resistance and A very Low level on curbing my nerves from Exploding

So Here’s the Question ..
Could any body tell me please What on Earth makes a family push so hard on an orphan girl whose father had passed away to accept an old traditional proposal from someone who hardly had an interested subject to talk about ?!!

Well.. This poor orphan is Me and this family is Mine

Shame on them All

I said No, then A hail of bullets started to hit me as if I was a criminal or something;

And every bullet was headed to destroy a special thing in me

Bullet to My Ambitious, Bullet to My Talent, Bullet to My Feelings, My own Dreams ..
A strong Bazooka to my heart where I have the most great ideas for Love, different loveliest ones ..

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That was my Action,

A very hard long tough “No”,
I screamed as if I was a fat actress singing in the Opera or so;

But the Audience here were the Neighbors .. lol

And all that serial Fighting Remains nothing but Confusion; cause hey ! I don’t give up easily, I’m unruly girl .

So please Disturb Not my Dreams
Disturb Not my Green Flourishing Slopes in my head

But I wonder Why all this ?!

All of this because he is Rich ! and have a political position !! Okay shit;
I don’t care ..

I don’t care for such things, I just need someone who can feel the Romanticism, “A Love Seller”

Yes A Love Seller Who give love without getting paid, someone has different way , different ideas as mine, someone I crush with him at the first sight, Not a Motionless one !!

I may not find him, May be he does not exist,

I may actually end up old toothless women with grey hair and wrinkled skin before I saw him, but it is okay with me

I can wait; I can wait in the hope that I see him one day because it feels so damn Right when you are 100 % sure with this someone who will share you his life and his everything

I know that years must go by in sad uncertainty, First

God knows for How Long !

And How Strangely is this ?! But we can’t accept the wrong lest we become lonely .. Am I Right ?

Well, I want to say that I just needed some Supporting, Encouragement instead of fighting this trivial Battles;
Someone tells me that I did the right choice; and following my heart’s voice is a good thing.

I don’t give a damn if he was Mr. Right { In their Standards ) or
Mr. Wrong or Mr. James Bond even !

Hellooo, This is a whole life, A high price one way ticket ..

Oh God .. They were talking about My Happiness !! ,

My Happiness !!!!

I can’t say YES to everyone at everything as Jim Carrey in “ Yes Men Movie “ , I can’t please everyone ..

And as my friend said to me once “ Trying to please everyone is a well proven formula for Failure and Misery “

So I must feel that he deserve this high price,

I must take into consideration the fact that this ticket with No Return !!

I must be happy when I’m with him, I want to be happy in my married life ..

Hmm, I’m not just scrawling some words all over the paper here, I told you all a true story about fighting to survive and surviving to move on and wait, and waiting for one Reward

Please if anyone already having his Reward please appreciates what you have, Think first before losing it or blowing the things up

It is a Precious precious Gift, A heavenly boon ..

And for whom waiting, I’m still waiting with you people

I have nothing further to do !!

nameless

 The Guy I Don’t Even Know his Name

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The day started with a song “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” to “Shirelles“ cause I assigned it to be the Alarm on my cell phone to wake me everyday at 7:45 Am,

“Shirelles” were an American girl group in the early 1960’s which I adore the 60’s songs,
They are absolutely fascinating, Who doesn’t love oldies anyway ?!!

After 15 minutes of rolling in my bed as usual, I finally got up…

Went to the bathroom, did the usual stuff I do every Morning then dressed quickly…

But not for going work,

Today I took it off, I had something different to do; I had to renew my driving license ..

So I just took a sip of my tea and quickly ran down the stairs to catch up the appointment ..

I drove my car almost for 5 minutes as I live in a small town, then in a quick I arrived at the place I want ;

But I took 10 minutes to find a spot to park my car and finally I found one, Thanks God for that ,

While I was stepping out of my car, A guy shouted on me telling ..
“This is my spot”, After a second or so, I Realized that
he is an Apricot seller !

I did nothing but showing a big wide smile on my face telling him
“I won’t be Late” and left him mumbling words only God knows what he said .. lol,

Hmm,

To renew a driving License in my country, you have to do a series of hard steps ;

The first one is to go to the court building to know how many traffic violations you did and pay for them,

And that what I was doing today,

After I had left the Apricot seller I headed to the court building, took the elevator seven Floors above the ground then walked a long long hall then I found myself alone with from 20 to 25 guys waiting their turns in front of a tiny window and they weren’t in Line,
It was just a mess…

I waited and waited till the guy behind the tiny window
“It called Mr. George by the way” noticed me and realized that I was struggling to survive among these sweaty old disgusting men,

He asked for my name, took my license and told me that I will wait the prosecutor to decrease the money that I will pay, so again I waited…

While I was waiting among this chaos, suddenly the crowd started to shrink to allow someone to pass,

But who the hell is he to make them do such shrinking that quickly ?!!

Well I didn’t care, I just enjoyed these seconds and tried to breathe some fresh air but the sudden silence made me carious and pushed me to raise my head up a little because at this time I was picking up my purse because it had fallen,

I rose up my head slowly to find myself standing in front of two splendid outstanding handsome guys !

I froze for a while, gazing on them and saying to myself  ..
{ Am I in heaven } !!

It was so hilarious but hey…

Don’t think me that I’m over reacting No, please No…
It was just like finding two oases in the desert… lol

After a while I understood that one of them is  ..!! Guess who ??

The prosecutor and the other is his friend then the prosecutor asked Mr. George with a strong tough layer of his voice to finish all the necessary papers to his friend immediately…

Poor me…
I wished to be his friend too at that moment,

Then in a glance his friend stood in front of me and I was standing in front of him, only inches between us;
He looked at me by wondaring eyes so did I, Then I don’t know why it turned to a stare !

The chemistry did its Interactions !!
I felt like Spring at that moment ..
Could this be true ? Could spring skip summer, autumn and winter and come again to flourish the place suddenly just like that ?!!

Hmm .. I have no idea !!

I swear I heard “James Blunt” singing his song “You’re Beautiful”
And in particular,
This part…

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

Then I woke up to Reality again and went to pay the money I have to pay to get the last paper and ..

Surprise ! Surprise ! He came after me and stayed till I finished,

We even shared a joke and I think he laughed…

Then I left the room and waited in the hall for someone to bring me back my license and guess what?? He left the room and stood in the hall too, laying his perfect body on the wall,

Then I heard the guy calling my name , gave me my License and finally it was time to leave,

I did nothing but finding a way to pass among the crowd leaving that scene behind even without a peek to say good bye with the eyes, hoping he will follow me as we see in the Romantic Movies,

I walked the long hall slowly and I didn’t take the elevator, again I was hoping to hear this word “Wait”…

But I realized that I’m not in A Movie and these things never happened in the Real Life and I can’t undo all the time I’ve wasted in leaving to get back to him,
I left ..
And he headed on the other direction and each one went to his separate Life.

Do you remember this Movie { The curious case of Benjamin Button } when Daisy asked Benjamin about what he was thinking and he said ..
I was thinking how nothing Lasts ..
Then she looked into his eyes and said {Some things Last)
Yes that’s true Some things Last,
Moments like these last forever ..

Hmm ..
By the way when I went to my car I found the guy “ The Apricot seller “ still mumbling words !!

Well I drove my car and left as the Mission was accomplished .

And that what happened today and this is the story about the guy I don’t even know his name.

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The 7 things I like about you

1- Your Artistic view, The way you see things and appreciate them so well and how much it is amazing when you makes us see the beauty of this Universe thru your adoring eyes.

2- The Warmth in your voice and how this bring tears to my eyes and every time you start to sing I breathe out , I sigh , A sigh of relief  ..
I feel that your lilting voice is touching gently every fiber in me,

As every tone melts my soul slowly then exploding a combination of the most romantic emotions I have ever had or felt before.

3-  The way you talk and the way you listen,
It is  pretty good to find someone care, someone show you the light when darkness is all around and falls deeper and deeper,
Where in this time could we find such a person ?

Hmm, well ..
I found you.

4- The way you show how much you are so self-confident and the impression you always leave is that you are capable to do everything in this world just because you have ..

– A new different idea,
– Two hands wants to build the structure of a golden frame,
– And a Dreamy heart filling this precious frame with everything you want it to be happen.

5-  Your New Things ..

Every day you show up with a new conversation, a new story, new joke, a whole new person,

I never felt that I’m boring however you every day finds out something special in me,

You opened my eyes for things I never known in my personality before.
I remember someday I was feeling frustrated,
I was confused, so lost and you didn’t ask why…!!

People ask all the time
How are you?
Are you okay?
Is it something wrong?

And the usual answer the automatic one comes at once and we say,

I
am
Fine

I am Fine

This repeatable uncomfortable answer ..

Remember ..

“Elizabethtown”
The Movie ..
“Drew Baylor” { Orlando Bloom } kept saying
I’m Fine  .. I’m Fine .. I’m Fine  although he was in the Middle of his grief on his father’s Death.

So  “I’m Fine “ , In fact it ain’t an answer !

But you didn’t
You didn’t ask me that day
You acted another different situation

You just opened a window to my imaginary world,
You just set a bird free.

6-   hmm, here it comes { The nicest thing } ..

Has anyone told you before that you say “ Okay ” in the most magnificent way I have ever heard ..

I love it
I love it
I love it

7- This one should be to your adorable smile and to your outstanding laugh,
An hundred years should go to praise this smile,
Two hundred to adore each cheek,
But thirty thousands to satisfy my eyes from looking at your delighted face.

And this was the last one but of course not least ..

So, to be continued  ..
Cause I’m pretty sure that there are more beautiful hidden things,
I don’t know about them yet.

precious-things1

أغلق الدفتر

وتاهت رائحة القهوة وما عاد مكاني هو عنوانها

وصمتت نغمات الهاتف و ما عادت تتردد في أرجاء المكان

رحلت

تركت فتاتك ورحلت

أتيت في أول الشتاء و في آخره ذهبت و بعدت و أنا شقيت

كيف حالك يا فتاة , كنت تجلس أمامي كل صباح  و ترددها

ألم تعلم إني سأفتقدك بشدة و سأفتقدها

لا أصدق إني لن أرى عيناك البندقيتان مرة ثانية

ولا أصدق إن المكان سيخلو من عطرك الفضي و من ضحكاتك الطفولية

لا أصدق .. عقلي يرفض أن يصدق

إنك تركتني وحدي

تركت فتاتك

تركت فتاة كان اسمها زهرة الزنبق

الآن أصبحت الزهرة صخرة

لا تشعر بأي إحساس

يراها الآخرون و لا يبتهجون كما كانوا يبتهجون

فقط يحزنون لصمتها

ولكن عذرا لها

كلما أحبت أحدا تركها

وكلما أنست جليسا أبعده القدر وحال بينه و بينها

و عذرا لها

فإنها تراك نقطة إلتقاء الأمان بشواطئ خوفها

وفصل معتدل أجوائه في وسط فصول خريفها

ونجمة ساطعة عالية

تحارب السحب العنيدة لكي تستدل هي منها على دربها

ولكنك رحلت

لأنها تركت مدينة الخيال

وخطيت صوب عالم الأحياء

تاركة أشباح الأرواح التائهة

تاركة قلاعها العالية الخالية

تاركة كل أحلامها الزائفة

فقد أفاقت من نومها المديد

وستبحث عن جسد يحتوي روحها

ستبحث عن الحياة

فقد ملت من هبوب الرياح التي تدمر رمال مدينة الخيال

فما عادت الآن رياح و لا رمال و لا قلاع

لقد أغلق الدفتر

و رحلت أنت

و رحلت هي